Emotional Rest: Letting Yourself Rest Without Judgment
Learn more with Alejandra Machado, LPC, Houston Anxiety Therapist
In a world that rewards productivity and positivity, many people find it hard to admit when they’re struggling emotionally. You might tell yourself, “I should be grateful,” or “It’s not that bad.” But suppressing emotions takes energy too, and that’s where emotional rest comes in.
In my previous blog, Seven Types of Rest You Need For True Recovery (Besides Sleep), I discussed the different types of rest. Let’s dive deeper into emotional rest and how this can benefit you.
What Is Emotional Rest?
Emotional rest is about honesty and authenticity with yourself and others. Instead of keeping the mask on, putting on a smile, and telling yourself everything is just fine, emotional rest is about acknowledging your emotions and permitting yourself to feel sadness, disappointment, frustration, grief, or whatever you're feeling without self-criticism.
Signs That You Need Emotional Rest.
If we think about feeling emotionally exhausted, that may be after going through a difficult time, carrying a lot of responsibilities for others, or navigating new transitions. Although never being tired is not realistic, pretending to be fine all the time can also cause us to ignore how we are really feeling.
For example, you just broke up with your partner, your cat is sick at the vet, and you had a less-than-stellar interaction with your boss at work when you run into your friend who asks, “How are you doing?”
You pretend to be fine and say “oh, I'm fine” when in reality you are stressed out, sad, and angry all at the same time! But of course, we don’t really want to share this with them for fear that we will be a burden to them.
Signs You May Need Emotional Rest
Feeling easily irritated, anxious, or numb
You keep taking care of others around you and forget to take care of yourself, feeling even more disconnected.
You continue to keep yourself busy because quiet moments are uncomfortable and feel too heavy.
These can be signs that your emotional reserves are low, not because you’re weak and you can't handle it, but because you've been doing too much and holding too much.
Why Emotional Rest Matters.
You may be thinking, “What’s the big deal? I don't have time to slow down and acknowledge things right now.” Unfortunately, unprocessed emotions don't disappear; they tend to accumulate and bubble up when we least expect them.
You might find yourself snapping at loved ones, perhaps losing motivation, or struggling to focus, which can be signals that your mind and body are asking for a rest. Therefore, allowing yourself to express emotions (even privately) gives your nervous system a chance to rest.
How To Practice Emotional Rest.
Name What You Feel.
Instead of telling yourself I shouldn't be feeling sad or I shouldn't be feeling anxious, acknowledge what that feeling is first. Instead of telling yourself how you think you should be feeling in the moment, being able to identify your emotions without trying to explain them away can help bring some clarity and self-compassion to yourself.
2. Find Safe Spaces for Vulnerability.
Emotional rest often begins in relationships where you can show up honestly without fear of criticism, which can look like finding a trusted friend or partner, or even in therapy.
3. Letting Go of the Idea That You Have To Be Strong All The Time
Letting someone see your real emotions can also help to deepen the connection and ease internal tension. This can be a difficult one to do, especially if we grew up with messages that expressing our emotions meant we were weak.
4. Limit Your Emotional Labor.
This often means boundaries. If you're known to be the go-to support person for everyone else, it can be easy to forget about yourself. It's okay to say no sometimes, as the old saying goes, you need to put the oxygen mask on yourself first to help others. Take care of your own energy so you can care for yourself and then others, too .
5. Seek Support When You Need It.
Therapy offers a structured, compassionate space to explore emotions safely, especially if you’ve learned to suppress or fear them.
In therapy, emotional rest often begins with learning that it’s safe to take off the armor and simply be human.
If you've been feeling emotionally exhausted, therapy can be a supportive space to start rebuilding that connection with yourself.
I offer counseling for adults across Texas, helping clients in Houston and beyond find rest from anxiety, overwhelm, and emotional burnout. Schedule a free 15-minute consultation to learn more about how we can work together.
