“What If I'm Too Sensitive?” Understanding Emotional Sensitivity in Adults

Alejandra Machado, LPC, anxiety therapist in Houston, TX.

“You’ve heard it your whole life — ‘Don’t take it so personally,’ ‘You’re too sensitive,’ or ‘Why do you get so upset over little things?’ And now, even as an adult, you wonder… Is something wrong with me?”

It is normal to question ourselves when we hear this frequently.  The truth is many of us can carry around a lot of shame or self-doubt about expressing emotions.  We may have been taught to keep it together otherwise it could be a sign of weakness. Unless we are smiling and happy, it’s better to keep it under wraps.

What Does It Mean To Be Emotionally Sensitive?

Emotional sensitivity means you experience feelings more strongly and react more deeply to emotional cues — both positive and negative. This can look like picking up on subtle shifts of tone or facial expressions in others or noticing tension in the room, feeling overwhelmed in emotional conflicts or intense situations, empathizing easily, but also having a harsh inner critic.

Why Do I Feel So Strongly?

Some of us are naturally wired to be more emotionally sensitive. Just think of members of your family, if you have siblings, you may all come from the same family but probably have very different personalities and temperaments.

If we were often invalidated as a kid, or told to “toughen up”, you may have internalized the idea that having or expressing feelings is a problem.

Heightened sensitivity can also stem from living in traumatic environments where emotional cues could have presented danger.

Emotional Sensitivity vs. Emotional Dysregulation, what’s the difference?

Having strong feelings is not necessarily a problem, but having difficulty managing or coping with strong feelings is where we can start to feel overwhelmed. For example:

·         Feeling emotionally exhausted often

·         Constant self-doubt or emotional shame

·         Difficulty setting boundaries

·         Avoiding conflict out of fear of emotional overwhelm

Those are a few examples of what it can look like when we are having difficulty coping with our emotions.

How Therapy Can Help Sensitive Adults

Therapy can help you recognize your patterns and the way you respond, identify your triggers, learn strategies to help you cope better, and also help you learn that it’s okay to feel deeply and be who you are.

Sensitivity is not a flaw — it’s a trait that can be a strength when supported, understood, and regulated.

If you’ve been told you’re too sensitive, or if your emotions feel hard to manage on your own, therapy can help. I offer online counseling in Houston and across Texas. Let’s work together to help you feel safer in your emotional world. You can contact me, Alejandra Machado, LPC at 281-858-3325 to set up a 15-minute consultation to see if therapy would be right for you.